(I Am) Origami Pt. 2 - Every Power Wide Awake

by John Van Deusen

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1.
thank you for the sun thank you for the moon thank you for the stars at night and the darkness too bless you for your peace bless you for your grace bless you for your perfect love and your perfect ways and all shall be well, all shall be well all manner of things shall be well use me as you will remove my selfish pride create in me a servant’s heart to bless your holy bride and when my work is done and the seeds are sown please receive my spirit Lord and welcome me home and all shall be well, all shall be well all manner of things shall be well
2.
None Other 04:53
I want to know what makes you smile I want to know what makes you weep I want to walk the bloody mile and worship at your feet because I can’t think of anything better than losing my life for you I can’t think of anything sweeter than shedding my blood for you so whom shall I fear? whom shall I seek? none other than you my king none other than you my king your love is so strong and your grace so deep I need none other than you my king none other than you my king, my Jesus I want to be consumed by you oh Lord I desire your holy fire I want to help you carry that cross and sing to you in freedom because I can’t think of anything better than losing my life for you I can’t think of anything sweeter than shedding my blood for you so whom shall I fear? whom shall I seek? none other than you my king none other than you my king your love is so strong and your grace so deep I need none other than you my king none other than you my king, my Jesus I can’t think of anything better I can’t think of anything sweeter I can’t think of anyone wiser I can’t think of anyone stronger none other than you my king none other than you my king, my Jesus
3.
I sold you to the hands of torture I denied you and hid my face I raised my voice in mocking chorus I testified against your case and here I am with every power wide awake lifted hands; this selfish heart is yours to break I held the whip and drove you forward I spat on you and cursed your name I drove the nails with swinging hammer I fell to face when earthquakes came and here I am with every power wide awake lifted hands; this selfish heart is yours to break and we sing gloria to the Lamb gloria, he is risen! every knee shall bow before you in mighty chorus we shall sing all glory, honor, strength and blessing belong to you eternally ————— when I stop and look on you and meditate upon your ways seeing how your blood it covers me with never ceasing grace oh I am filled with peace and hope yeah I’m confident in what you’ve done knowing in my heart of hearts that this victory tis won oh Jesus is alive his reign will never end oh hallelujah to my God, my friend! I was but a slave to sin shackled to my own desire still you showered me with perfect love and cleansing holy fire still I often turn away yeah I sink beneath the tempting tide but your hand is quick to pull me out and hold me to your side! oh Jesus is alive his reign will never end oh hallelujah to my God, my friend! here I am with every power wide awake! lifted hands; this selfish heart is yours to break!
4.
illuminate my unknowing, unseen one whom never dies oh blessed Trinity, look not on my wretched crimes my mind is full of spider webs and my soul is full of grime I aim to understand and suffer with you in kind burn away my idols tear away this wordly veil purify my motives may your perfect love prevail illuminate my unknowing…
5.
oh why, my soul, are you so downcast? why so disturbed deep within me? put your hope in God! for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God… he is the light in the darkest hour calling all cowards to his side he is the light in the skeleton valley rise up and rally to his side he is the light! let all who take refuge in you rejoice let us sing with everything we have for you bless us Lord and faithfully extend your favor as a shield he is the light in the darkest hour calling all cowards to his side he is the light in the skeleton valley rise up and rally to his side he is the light! my savior and my God…
6.
before there was anything you hovered above before the first breath you harbored your love oh I am nothing I am small I am waiting for your voice Jesus you are, Jesus you are everything! so much has changed since you came to me and opened my eyes and renewed my mind I long to gaze upon your holy face but for now I wait patiently at your feet…
7.
“how long will you wander, my wayward daughter?” oh girl! do you see how much He loves you? oh girl! do you see that He will make all things new? “how long will you wander, my wayward daughter?” that boy, he thinks he can give you what you need that beautiful boy, you think he can give you what you need? Yahweh will give you what you need! “how long will you wander, my wayward daughter?”
8.
Interlude 00:53
why would I go anywhere else? why, why? you’ve revealed yourself your sky fills the earth animates our lives and gives them worth!
9.
early in the morning God I will wait for you because everything I want is in your hands everything I need is in your hands everything I want is in your hands right here and now will you teach us how to live by the Spirit that you give? as the sparrow and the seed, you will meet our need why should we worry, Lord? early in the morning God I will call on you because everything I want is in your hands everything I need is in your hands everything I want is in your hands right here and now will you teach us how to live by the Spirit that you give? as the sparrow and the seed, you will meet our need why should we worry, Lord? why would I, why would I, why would I go anywhere else?
10.
I have sinned over and over again I have walked a selfish path my mouth is dry and parched and I wear a crown of shame so be merciful to me oh God be merciful to me is it ok to be angry with you? are you at peace with my bitter tongue? because sometimes you seem so distant from me and your voice is so hard to hear so be merciful to me oh God be merciful to me (how is it that you are by my side, holding me in spite of all i’ve done? how is it that I am called your son? tell me!)
11.
please lead me to your holy mountain, God I long to know your glory and your peace please open up my heart and fan the flames I long to light the darkest night for you this world is a hollow shell and life an empty well without you you are all consuming, never failing love whom do I have? whom do I have? you are all consuming, never failing love whom do I have? whom do I have but you? please lead me to your holy altar, God so I can taste and revel in your joy anoint my head with holy oil, God I long to praise your name with every breath this world is a hollow shell and life an empty well without you you are all consuming, never failing love whom do I have? whom do I have? you are all consuming, never failing love whom do I have? whom do I have but you?
12.
your voice is quiet my head is full of noise I want to hear you speaking so speak to me in a way that I can hear open up my ears so I can hear your voice is power my heart is made of stone I want to hear you speaking so speak to me in a way that I can hear open up my ears so I can hear speak Spirit, speak! I am listening!
13.
I will turn to you when night is falling when my sin is calling when I can’t see straight and the smoke’s in my eyes I will wait for you when the future’s blurry amidst the rush and hurry when the pain is real and the questions burn there’s no limit to your love no bottom to your ocean no top to your mountain no end to your sky there’s no limit to your love I will turn and walk in a new direction remove this infection yeah this need to own and get what’s mine I will ask for wisdom when I’m lost nail my motives to the cross and find my peace in the promises you’ve made I will call on your name, Jesus because there’s no limit to your love no bottom to your ocean no top to your mountain no end to your sky I will bend the knee before your throne worship you and you alone I will cast away these worthless chains because there’s no limit to your love no bottom to your ocean no top to your mountain no end to your sky no limit to your love
14.
I thank you God for all that you do all that you do is good! you always hold true to your Word the truth of your Word is good! I will praise your name, Yahweh, Yahweh! I find peace when you are near your presence is so good your perfect grace breaks the chains your freedom is so good! I will praise your name, Yahweh, Yahweh! you adopted me out of depravity your mercy is so good! you save me from my enemies your victory is good! I will praise your name, Yahweh, Yahweh! you bled you died this I know! you rose again this I know! you sit enthroned this I know! oh Jesus Christ you are king your kingdom is so good! oh Risen One Holy One your love is so good! I will praise your name, Yahweh, Yahweh!

about

Hello. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this album, ‘Every Power Wide Awake’. I recommend listening on headphones while alone; preferably in the woods or some place peaceful. Or not, it’s up to you.
‘Every Power Wide Awake’ is at it’s core, a collection of self recorded songs that reflect my personal prayer life. Almost every morning, before my wife Annababe wakes up, I sit alone with black coffee and my Bible; reading and praying. These are the most precious moments of my day. This is when I feel most receptive to the voice of God. This is when I feel truly awake; open to the deeper things of the world, hovering above my busy, self-propelled lifestyle. It’s a kind of heaven.
The title of this album comes from the Christian devotional classic ‘My Utmost For His Highest’, by Oswald Chambers. The entry for January 14th reads, “The quiet passionate insistence of His “Follow Me” was spoken to men (and women) with every power wide awake.” After reading it, this sentence wouldn’t leave my head for the rest of the week. I rolled it over in my mind like a smooth stone in my hand. I wanted to be wide awake. To cut the religious nonsense, get to the essence of true life and move on from my selfish existence; every part of myself electrocuted by God’s love and light. I wanted to live a life for Jesus; I still do. These songs grew out of that heart desire.
Getting the songs out of my head and in to the world was a lengthy process. I won’t bore you with all of the details. However, some of them seem important, if I’m to contextualize the “feel” of the album. First of all, ‘EPWA’ was written and recorded all over the world. The songs were composed and written every where from Anacortes to Nuremberg and Seoul to Chicago. For the recording process I used mobile recording gear assembled for me by my close friends Nick and Jonathan. Let’s be clear: this would not have happened without them.
The bulk of the music was recorded in a cabin on Orcas Island in October of 2015. I had the opportunity to stay alone at the house for the whole month thanks to the overwhelming generosity and support of the Thomas family. Thank you Burke, Barbara and Jesse! What a beautiful time this was for me. I would light a fire and read the New York Times. I would watch out the window for orca whales (I didn’t see any). I would walk to the Lower Tavern and drink beers alone. I played the game of LIFE by myself on my birthday. I would listen to God’s still, quiet voice and then record what I felt my heart was saying in response. I will never forget this meaningful and productive time in my life.
Two other recording locations are obviously worth mentioning. First is Quaker Cove, an old Quaker family camp on the southeast tip of Fidalgo Island. During the summer of 2015 we moved our recording gear in to the Palmer Cabin, which was vacant and uninsulated. Strangely enough, this cabin was decorated with owls (not a purposeful Twin Peaks reference) and kind of felt like it was lived in by a ghost… or at the very least forest animals seeking food and shelter. I must extend a huge thank you to Robert Festa for being supportive and welcoming us. He simply opened the door to the cabin and said, “Go for it. Make something good.” I should also mention that Quaker Cove is once again a thriving and active family camp with wonderful facilities and programs. I’m just glad I got to work there before business started booming again because, let’s face it, it’s more fun to record in strange, lonely places.
The last recording location I should write about here is the Grunewald Guild in Plain, WA. Oh, what a magnificent place to work! I was fortunate enough to be chosen as an “artist in residence” for the Cascadia Residency, a wonderful program facilitated by Fuller Seminary. I was given the extreme privilege of moving my recording gear in to an empty sauna at this peaceful artist retreat right on the Wenatchee river. For two weeks my only job was to write, record, eat, watch Gremlins and read Lord of the Rings. I’m not joking. Oh, to be back in the garden, reading and listening to the river. Yeah, it’s as good as it sounds. (If you want to apply for the residency visit www.cascadiaresidency.com)
So, as I hope I’ve made clear, Every Power Wide Awake didn’t come together quickly; it took over two years of piecing things together like a jigsaw puzzle. During this time I battled my insecurities and fears about openly professing my faith in Jesus to my listener base. I also went back and forth with how to release all of the music (there was over 26 songs at one point). In the end, it seems that the straightest and simplest path is the best one; be honest and don’t over extend your reach. Instead, simply walk forward with what you know to be true and don’t wait for the world to catch up.
So, here is this album; full of songs: some loud, some quiet. Often hectic and immature; just like my prayers in the morning. All of them straight from my messy inner sanctuary in to your headphones or speakers.

"Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you." - Ephesians 5:14

Sincerely

John Van Deusen
12-7-17

credits

released December 18, 2017

(I Am) Origami Pt. 2 - ’Every Power Wide Awake’
by John Van Deusen

Written by JVD
Copyright John Sanders Van Deusen - (BMI)
except ‘Interlude’ and ‘(I Am) Nothing’ by John Ringhofer and JVD
and ‘Calling All Cowards’ by Susan Van Deusen and JVD
“All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well” - Julian of Norwich, 1342-1416
Some direct quotes and references taken verbatim from the Holy Bible

Produced by JVD
Engineered by Jonathan Keane and not really by JVD
Mixed by Jonathan Keane in his bedroom in Anacortes, WA
Mastered by Nich and Cathy Wilbur at the Unknown in Anacortes, WA

Performed by JVD, except:
any good drums and percussion by Braydn Krueger
Horns and/or additional vocals by John Ringhofer on ‘(I Am) Nothing’, ‘With Every Power Wide Awake’ and ‘Interlude’
John Ringhofer appears courtesy of Half-handed Cloud
Violin on ‘Calling All Cowards’ by Jess Alldredge
Additional vocals on ‘Sparrow and the Seed’ by Nick and Julianne Thompson
Additional vocals on ‘With Every Power Wide Awake’ by Joe Day

Recorded at:
The Thomas Family Cabin on Orcas Island, WA
The Palmer Family Cabin at Quaker Cove in Anacortes, WA
The Sauna at the Grunewald Guild in Plain, WA
The Monopath Garage in Anacortes, WA (RIP)
John Ringhofer’s parts were composed and recorded at his apartment in Helsinki, Finland.
Joe Day’s vocals were recorded at his house in Amazon City - “Home of the 12’s”, WA.
Some noises recorded in Nuremberg, Germany on the U-Bahn.

Cover image: ‘The Adoration of the Lamb’ by Albrecht Durer, (German, Nuremberg - 1511, public domain) with additional color pencil by Annababe Van Deusen
Art Layout and design by Paul Benson in Anacortes, WA









Thank You:

Annababe Van Deusen
Jonathan Keane
The Thompson family
The Krueger family
The Ringhofer family
Paul Benson
Nich Wilbur
Evie and Nick Rennis
The Thomas family
Ruth and Taylor Pool
The Castle Rohrsdorf family
The Turner family
The Kirkeeng Family
Elizabeth Dirks
Laine Keyes
Phil Elverum
Andy Park
Jorg and Devilduck
Kelsey and Josh Lott
Kathy and Dick Staub
Marty O’Donnell
Brian Moss
Jeff Johnson
Gillie and Nigel Goodwin
Joe Day
Jess Alldredge
The Grunewald Guild family
The girls and the Cascadia Residency family
Robert Festa and Quaker Cove
How It Works
Kennelly Keys
Dianne Moritz
Native Instruments for the sweet Mellotron and timpani samples
My friends
My family for all of the love
The Church
You

and

Father, Son and Holy Spirit

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